Nazi Zombies
by AnsonWerewolf
Summary: I suck the Cul-De-Sac kids into a world of undead zombies and evil monsters for your reading pleasure!
1. Nacht Der Untoten

"We need to assess the situation here fellows.", Edd mumbled to the guys. In the space of two seconds, a normal day in the Cul-De-Sac turned into a total nightmare as all the children were transported into some sick game for the pleasure of a streange being known as Cloverfield 2.  
>Ed, Edd, and Eddy were located in the first Nazi Zombies map, called Nacht Der Untoten. Kevin, Rolf, and Johnny were in what seemed to be a World War II Japanese military outpost known as Shi No Numa. Sarah, Jimmy, and Nazz were in what looked like an old, rundown German movie theater called Kino Der Toten. The Kanker Sisters were, unfortunately, smack dab in the middle of Call of the Dead, the hardest Nazi Zombie map of them all (as I've heard).<br>At times, Cloverfield 2 will send them messages claiming various things such as: "PUPPIES...who want to eat your face.", "Mystery Box, go bye-bye!", and "Cool! A Thundergun! [POOF!] Awww...a pistol! Did I do that? HAHAHA!". He will also randomly spawn a _Super 8 _monster or a _Feast_ monster from round 20 onward.  
>Other than that, it was normal Nazi Zombies gameplay. Except it had a <em>Gantz<em>-like feature to it. And it was all for the entertainment of Cloverfield 2 and his readers...almost like in _The Condemed_.

Anyway, the rules are simple: Rule One is to live as long as you can. Rule Two is put on a good show for the readers. Rule Three is to act, be, and look awesome and epic. Rule Four is that whoever lasts the longest gets a reward. And Rule Five is the most important rule of all...HAVE FUN!  
>Now that that's downpat, let's see how the Eds are doing.<br>Ed is admiring the gun in his hand with a look of utter focus, Edd is going completely insane, and Eddy is ranting up a storm. 3...2...1...and-  
>"Arrrrghhhhhhh...", droned a voice from outside.<br>The three Eds ran to the northernmost window and saw, to their horror, several zombies stumbling towards them.  
>"AAAHHHHH!", they all yelled. Ed raised his gun and started firing, hitting the zombie six times in the torso before it fell. The watch that was on his hand read that his points went from 500 to 560.<br>More zombies came from the window closest to the stairs, which Eddy took care of with his knife. Edd, meanwhile, stood there shaking in his shoes.

"I AM ED! CHEESE AND MACARONI!", Ed yelled, knifing a zombie in the face and shooting another in the balls, causing a Double Instant Kill. Eddy stuck to shooting his gun left and right, catching eight zombies in the chest and killing another four. And Double D, of course, stuck to watching the others in fear.  
>"SOCKHEAD, BREACH! BREACH! YOU'RE NOT WATCHING YOUR WINDOWS!", Eddy yelled, pointing to the two windows Edd was supposed to be watching. No more than six zombies had breached the barriers and were now stumbling towards them.<br>_'Okay, Edward, it's okay. It's all in self-defence, just shoot! Shoot, Shoot, SHOOT!", _Edd's oversized consious told him. Shakily, Edd slowly brought up his gun and fired an entire clip into the horde.  
>He missed every shot.<p>

Eddy, having cleared his window, went to help Double D. After three shots, he found he was out of ammo. Double D, to scared to think, dropped his gun.  
>He and Eddy screamed as the zombies converged on them-<br>"I AM EPIC ED!", Ed yelled, football tackling a zombie, causing it to burst in half. Since Ed was also out of ammo, he withdrew his knife and stared defiantly into the glowing yellow eyes of the undead Nazi horde. The five remaining zombies circled around him, which in itself was a bad idea.  
>Ed stabbed the zombie directly in front of him in the neck, and then did a 360. He sliced through all the zombie's necks and saved his friends to boot.<p>

Suddenly, a machine appeared in front of them. It was a round, futuristic computer that Cloverfield 2 used to communicate with them. Text appeared on the screen.  
><strong>CONGRATULATIONS ED. YOU ARE THE BADDEST MOTHERFUCKER I HAVE EVER SEEN KILLSTREAK ZOMBIES. I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS WEAPON AS A REWARD.<br>**Out of nowhere, and in Ed's hands, there appeared a Ray Gun.  
>"YAY! I have an alien handgun that I will use to defeat the undead!", Ed exclaimed.<br>"Hey! Where are our guns?", Eddy yelled at the computer.  
><strong>ED=2000 pts.<br>EDD=500 pts.  
>EDDY=1900 pts.<br>YOU TWO ACTED LIKE PUSSIES. BUY A GUN OF THE WALL BITCHES.  
><strong>And before Eddy could put a fist through the machine, it vanished. More moaning was heard outside, and another round began. But the Eds were well prepared this time.  
>Ed brought up his Ray Gun and pointed it at the zombies, Doubled D bought an M1 Garand off the wall, and Eddy used all his points to open the door with <em>'HELP'<em> on it and use the Mystery Box.  
>He got Molotovs.<p>

Ed blasted zombies apart with his Ray Gun. Double D got headshots on several zombies with his M1 Garand, and Eddy got very pissed off when the Molotoves didn't work as well as they do on _L4D.  
><em>In other words, it was just another round of Nazi Zombies for your pleasure.

**LIKE? HATE? REVIEW EITHER WAY!  
>IT DEPENDS ON HOW MANY GOOD REVIEWS I GET TO SEE IF I UPDATE AGAIN.<br>ANYWAY, THIS IS CLOVERFIELD 2 AND I WILL SEE YOU LATER!**

"How about: GET US OUTTA HERE!"  
>"Eddy! Behind you!"<br>"BOOM! BOOM! EAT ALIEN SPACE LAZAH, NAZI ZOMBIES!"  
><strong>:)<strong>


	2. Shi No Numa

"Grenade!", yelled Kevin. After learning of what they were supposed to do, Team 2 (Kevin, Rolf, and Johnny) went straight into the action and began to own zombies left and right.  
>Kevin had a lot of video games behind him and he was good in most, but his baby was Nazi Zombies on Call of Duty. He has every single level on his 360, and has gotten to Round 30 in all of them.<br>Rolf...well...do I honestly need to confirm that Rolf would beast at this? Growing up in the vast, rolling hills of Germany, protecting his livestock was a must. So Rolf learned to handle three main objects to do this: a Scythe, a Double-Barrel Shotgun, and an M1911 pistol. That was perfect, because he would be using two of those weapons here.  
>Johnny...is just plain screwed. He has spent the past ten minutes running around looking for Plank, interfering with Kevin and Rolf's duties many a time.<br>So to sum it all up: Kevin knows Nazi Zombies inside and out, Rolf has the real-time battle experience (farming isn't exactly Heaven on Earth), and Johnny would make great bait.

Anyway...  
><em>KA-BOOM!<br>_The grenade exploded, sending shrapnel in every direction, and ripping apart a few zombies. While Rolf was preocupied watching Kevin, a zombie got too close to his window and began ripping down the boards. Coming back to his senses, Rolf ran up to the window and jammed his M1911 into the zombies empty eyesocket. Rolf pulled the trigger, and the entire upper left side of the zombies head exploded, sending blood and grey brain matter everywhere.  
>"Plank? Plank! PLANK!", Johnny exclaimed, finally sighting Plank on the far side of the outpost. Being the jackass he is, Johnny jumped <em>through<em> the boards of a window and into the murky, muddy, gooey, swamp to wade slowly over to where Plank was.  
>"Johnny! Get back here you <em>retard!<em>", Kevin yelled out to him. A few seconds was all it took for a few zombies to get through the breach and into the building.

Rolf pulled out his knife and stabbed a zombie right between the eyes, killing it instantly. He then yanked the knife back out of the zombie's skull, and threw it back across the room to where a zombie was breaking down Kevin's window (Kevin was busy fighting off two other zombies to notice) and the knife sailed clean through the zombies head and into the murky depths.  
>"CURSES!", Rolf exclaimed, "Johnny the Woodboy! When Rolf gets you, your punishment will be slow and painful...like Papa's back waxings!"<br>Johnny wasn't listening, he was too busy breaking the rules to notice. Johnny was following Plank as I levitated the 2X4 through the entire map, causing Johnny to open all the doors and break all the windows in advance, before finally putting, rather inserting, Plank into the Meteor.  
>Johnny, expecting the same murky swamp that had already stained his clothes a brownish color, hopped into the stuff like a bunny. But he was obviously not paying attention to the fact that the "swamp" was bubbling like mad. Or that it wasn't as mudlike as the rest of the swamp.<p>

Johnny jumped into a ten-foot deep pool that had been superheated to 130 degrees. What? Did you think the meteor was glowing red because had "magic powers" that brought the dead to life?  
>Well, you're half right.<br>The meteor got ultrahot during it's entrance into our atmosphere, and when it touched the swamp, a certain part of it turned into boiling water.  
>Johnny sprung back up, screaming like a banshee and whole parts of his skin missing. The water had melted him in some parts, parts with no bones or not that much meat.<br>Therefore, his forehead, hair in all places, elbow skin, nails, fingers, genetalia (ouch!), knee skin, and toes had been melted away.

Getting back onto the walkway, he took no notice of Plank, who had been burned to cinders from the sheer heat radiating from the meteor.  
>Getting on what remained of his knees, Johnny reared back and screamed in all out pain and terror. It was his fault, all of it. Thanks to him: all the areas were open, all the windows were broken, Kevin and Rolf were alone, Plank was gone, and zombies were everywhere.<br>Hearing the cries of his fellow friends back at the original building, Johnny gave up. He fell back into the water, but instead (painfully) met a small rowing boat that I had caused to appear.  
>I wouldn't let Johnny die, because the fun couldn't be spoiled now. It was just getting started.<p>

"Look! It's Johnny! It's Johnny!", yelled Kevin, pointing at the small boat Johnny was now adrift on. He and Rolf both ran out of ammo and lost their knives (Kevin couldn't get his back out of a zombies skull because it was rusty), and they both bolted from the place. But they were injured: Rolf had three gashes along his cheek, and there were three long cuts going from Kevin's chest to his bellybutton. Kevin abandoned his shirt, when a speedy zombie ripped it off him during their escape.  
>Rolf was on his tail, and although the zombies were at the other end of the walk, they were coming at a steady pace. A few were even lightly jogging, two were sprinting, and one was running, arms outstreched, reaching for Rolf. To catch him, to claw him, to bite him, to eat him, to kill him...<br>"JUMP, KEVINBOY, JUMP!", yelled Rolf, and the two dived at the boat, the zombie close behind. Rolf and Keving landed painfully on Johnny, and the zombie hit the water. An instant cloud of steam erupted from the area it hit, the zombie bobbed to the surface minutes later, but it was only a ragged skeleton.  
>Rolf suddenly screamed, his hand had hit the water and severly burned him. Kevin suddenly noticed how Johnny looked: pale, bloody, skin singed off at places, salty tears in his eyes.<br>I appeared, hovering beside them, as the white futuristic computer.

**And this is where you stand...**  
><strong>Kevin: 2500 points.<strong>  
><strong>Rolf: 2500 points.<strong>  
><strong>Johnny: -3000 points for cheating.<strong>

**"I am most displeased. You have not abode by the rules as you should have, Johnny. Therefore, you shall remain this way. As for you two, you fought a hard battle. So I will give you these.** [four MedKits appear in the boat]** You should heal with these before we start again."**

"WAIT!", Kevin yelled out. I turn towards him, my black screen blank, waiting for him to start a new conversation.  
>"What about Johnny? There's no way these'll help him.", Kevin croaked, his voice starting to break up. Tears were building up in his eyes, he was a jock, a bully, a punk, but he couldn't stand seeing Johnny so vulnurable and weak. Rolf, while he had seen worse injuries like this over his childhood, couldn't hide the traces of sadness in his eyes as he wrapped his hand in bandages.<br>**"Why do you ask such a foolish question. LOOK AT HIM! He is mortally wounded, and I can do nothing."**, I said, fading into the sunlight.  
>The flood overtook Kevin's eyes, and he began to silently weep. Rolf, too, bowed his head and sent a prayer out. Johnny, meanwhile, moaned and groaned with pain.<p>

And here we leaved them...  
>Kevin: a shell of his former self.<br>Rolf: his hand injured, he cannot wield a proper gun.  
>Johnny: Dying...but not dead yet.<br>The three are on a small wooden paddle boat, in the middle of a small ultrahot pond, with the undead at the banks, in this world that in order to live...you must kill.  
>It is the only law.<br>And we leave them with it...


	3. Kino der Toten

**Alright, just so you guys know: Johnny isn't the first victim! Well...he is. But he isn't dead, only mortally wounded. That is a big difference from dead. He's gonna die, yes! But he won't die first.  
>This is a more detailed version of the story: I have taken the entire EEnE cast and put them into a sick, violent, and popular game known as Nazi Zombies.<br>It's like a tournament: 11 people start out in four groups of three each and start on four Nazi Zombie levels-Nacht der Untoten, Shi No Numa, Kino der Toten, and Call of the Dead-and when four people die, the remaining eight split into two groups of four each and go to-Veruckt and Five-and once again, four must die and the remaining four all go to Der Riese. However many last for five straight hours in Der Riese get to go home...and it's over.  
>Also, the first death occurs in this chapter, so be warned: it is a gore fest!<strong>

_ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!  
><em>Nazz, Sarah, and a trembling Jimmy all appeared on the teleporter in the beggining room of Kino der Toten. The three looked around fearfully, or at the pistols that were somehow in their hands.  
>Nazz looked over and saw the outline of an Olympia on the wall next to a window that was boarded up, anything past is was black as night.<br>Sarah looked over at Jimmy, who was cowering behind a glass counter with a cola despenser next to it. Jimmy saw her look and told her it didn't work because the power was out.  
>Indeed, the only light was from the sun, which shone through every crack it could find, and the eyes.<br>Wait...eyes?

"Yo, dude! Is there any way outta here?", Nazz called to a man who was stumbling towards them from the outside. But as he got closer, Nazz could se something was wrong.  
>His eyes were what caught her attention, as they were glowing yellow. Next was his clothing, it was <em>so<em> 1945, and it really _was_ 1945. It was a uniform Nazis wore. Then, he began to moan, as if he was hungry or in pain. Finnaly, Nazz saw his skin. It was gray, decaying, smelly, and just plain revolting.  
>"Dude, are you okay?", Nazz asked once the man got to the window. But, then-<br>"RARRGHH!", the man shot his arm through the boards and grabbed onto Nazz's blonde hair. He yanked and her hair ripped out with a stomach-churning noise. Nazz screamed in pain, but before she could go anywhere he latched onto her arm and with the other, began to pull down boards.  
>"HELP! HE'S WRECKING MY HAIR!", Nazz screamed. Jimmy wailed. And Sarah raised her gun-<p>

_CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!  
>CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!<br>_More men began to pull down boards all around the room: upstairs, next to the Olympia, and across from the downstairs door. That's when Sarah realized these men wern't men at all: they were Nazi Zombies. Her idiot brother played it all the time at his stupid friend's homes.  
>Sarah snapped back into reality, and she fired into the first zombie's face. His eyeballs burst from their sockets, his nose was torn to shreds, and there were three gapping holes in his head. Blood was all over Nazz.<br>Meanwhile, the other zombies got into the room, and began their slow but steady lurch towards the three. Nazz and Sarah ran over to where Jimmy was wailing and began to fire into the horde, crouched behind the glass counter.  
>But even more zombies came through the window the first one was at once they tore down the remaining planks of wood. Soon, the entire bottom was a horde of zombies slowly walking to the three "campers".<p>

I know what your're thinking: 'It's the first freaking round! How could they screw up, and how could there be this many zombies? Well, for one: they're all a bunch of wimps. And two: I'm in control!  
>Suddenly, the M1911's ran out of ammo, and Jimmy dropped his because it was too heavy. What a wuss...<br>Anyway, they decided to make a break for it, since they had enough points to open the top door and get more guns. Nazz told Sarah and Jimmy to run for the top door, and maybe get the gun at the top.  
>Nazz went first, and she bolted up the stairs like a bullet. Sarah went next, going slower but still faster than Jimmy. He was crying so hard he jogged up the stairs to where his pumbling protector was waiting.<br>Sarah kicked Jimmy in the face so hard his nose broke, teeth flew out, and blood splattered everywhere.  
>"Sorry, Jimmy! You were a pussy, so you deserve to die! You'd just slow us down!", Sarah yelled to Jimmy as he tumbled down the stairs and into the zombie horde.<p>

Jimmy didn't stand a chance. The zombies clawed him, bit him, ate him alive...  
>"HELP! HELP! SARAH!", Jimmy cried. But no help came, Jimmy was a dead boy anyway. The zombies breached his clothes and tore open his belly, ripping out his intestines.<br>Flesh flew everywhere as the zombies tore at Jimmy, who was dead, even though tears still traveled down his face. Eventually, the zombies were so intrested in the corpse of Jimmy that they took no notice of Sarah, who stood at the top of the stairs with a grenade in her hands.  
>She pulled the pin and dropped it, watching it fall down the stairs.<br>_BINK, BINK, BINK-_**BOOM!  
><strong>The grenade detonated, sending the horde flying everywhere in bits and pieces. Blood caked everything, gore lined the stairs, the black blast radius was clearly seen at the bottom of the stairs, and Jimmy's brace had landed perfectly around the meteor fragment at the bottom.

Nazz was in the second room, catching her breath. Sarah walked in, smiling as though she was a saint.  
>What a bitch...<br>"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU FUCKING LITTLE WHORE!", Nazz yelled, right in Sarah's face. She slapped Sarah so hard, a red mark could be seen on her cheek.  
>"I was tired of looking after his punk-ass with no pay.", Sarah calmly told Nazz, although you could tell she was pissed off about being slapped.<br>"WITH NO PAY? YOU ARE JUST LIKE EDDY!", Nazz screamed. Altough she didn't think Eddy would kill somebody to save his own hide, he was still selfish. And it was the only connection she could make.  
><strong>"AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THIS GO ON, HERE ARE THE SCORES."<strong>, I said.  
><strong>Nazz-2500 pts.<br>Sarah- -1500 pts.  
>Jimmy-DEAD.<strong>

I vanished, and the two girls looked around, trying to find a weapon on the wall. Well, Nazz was.  
>Round 2 began, and the girls were still without ammo, just knives.<br>"Arrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh...", a zombie moaned. It was coming from the first room. Nazz went white, and Sarah drew her knife, ready for the zom-  
>"AHHHHHHHH!", exclaimed Nazz. Sarah had did a 360 and stabbed Nazz in the leg, injuring her. She withdrew her knife and planted it in Nazz's foot, so she couldn't move.<br>Sarah ran to the door, and gave Nazz the finger as she opened it.  
>Nazz was scared, Sarah had just murdered Jimmy and crippled her, and was now leaving her to die so she could escape.<br>"Sarah! I hope you die you selfish, mean, rotten, bitchy, fucking useless whore!", Nazz yelled at Sarah's retreating form. The first zombies scrambled up the stairs, but there were more.  
>Nazz heard Sarah scream, telling the zombies to back off. They were so dead.<br>And Nazz forgot to manacure her nails this morning.  
>"NOOOO!"<p> 


	4. Call of the Dead

**I am pleased to announce that this is getting to be a good Fanfic. The reviews, the traffic, everything! Thank you so much for reading this!  
>Okay, the other three deaths are now known, and they will die in the next few chapters. But the Kankers are in Call of the Dead, so it's them first.<br>Sadly, I was hoping for someone to say Kill Kankers, but I digress. The Kankers WILL NOT DIE...hopefully yet...  
>Without further ado, I present to you, Call of the Dead, on PS2...lol!<strong>

"QUICK! HEAD FOR THE BOAT!", Lee shouted to her sisters. For eight consecutive rounds, the Kanker Sisters had been owning at this game.  
>Lee had an Olympia in her hands, and twin M1911 pistols in her pockets. Marie had twin Uzi's and a AK-47 w Grenade Launcher. May had a FN-Fal and an RPG-7. Around them were zombies, hellhounds, and the _Super 8 _monster gladly took the place of George A. Romero in Call of the Dead.  
><em>RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!<br>_Marie fired at random zombies nearby with her Uzi's, killing them all. A zombie zoomed overhead, landing in front of them, dead as a doornail. The _Super 8_, which had telekinetic powers, began throwing zombies at the retreating sisters. The monster was able to do a lot of damage and take up to ten times as much damage before retreating to heal.

The hellhounds ran after the three like cheetahs after prey. One ank it's teth into May's leg, who was slower than her sisters. She uttered a scream of terror and pain before collapsing, and having the six dogs all over her.  
>"Shit!", Lee mumbled, turning around and emptying her pistols into the mound of dogs over her little sister. Marie, the fastest, turned around and ran over to help May up.<br>But the horde was closing in fast. I took the liberty of installing a few more tricks into the map before starting it. Like the lifeboat that was at the bottom of the ship (when entered, it slowly lifts to the top of the ship like an elevator).  
>Lee was in it, but didn't pull the lever just yet. She stuck to firing her pistols into the horde, relaoding, and repeating.<br>Marie was dragging May to the boat, and wasn't able to shoot. So May fired her FN-Fal into the crowd, taking out several zombies. But the monster, fed up with how slow this was going, galloped through the zombies and at the sisters. When it got to them, it punched Marie across to the boat, slamming into it hard enough that it began to rise, then it picked up May and threw her into the water.

"MAY!", Lee and Marie shouted. Their sister was freezing fast into a human icicle, and they were too far away to help. On top of that, the monster was climbing up the side of the ship like a gecko.  
>Marie whipped out her AK-47 and fired a grenade at the monster. The monster <em>swatted<em> the grenade in midair, causing it to fall into the crowd of zombies and hellhounds below, killing many.  
>The monster reached out and grabbed onto the side of the lifeboat, it's grip on the ship giving in at the last second. The one of the boat lines snapped and the three soon found themselves holding on to a wooden lifeboat suspended 40 feet in the air by a rope with 12 zombies crowding below.<br>The monster, while it was indestructible, would still be hurt by the fall, and it's grip wouldn't hold on the slippery ship, so it held on, adding around 2,400 pounds of pure muscle to the already strained rope.  
>Lee and Marie, seeing the rope start to give, began to climb it. They didn't stop until they were past the point of the rope breaking. Lee took out her Sickle and slit the rope, causing the boat and monster to fall 40 feet to the ground.<br>The zombies were squashed, and the monster, injured, left the area, waiting to return in another five rounds when it was healed. The music signaling the end of the round, played, which meant they had ten minutes before round ten began.

The two sisters got to the ship's dack and ran to the back, the part that was still in the water. Looking around for May, Lee spotted her in the shallow part of the water, but it was still freezing there.  
>Lee and Marie looked at each other, wondering how the heck they were going to get May and be back in time for the tenth round. Marie, courage building up in her heart, ran back for a few yards. She nodded at her sister, then sprinted to the railing and dived into the water.<br>_CRACK!  
><em>Hitting her head on a stray piece of iceberg.  
>Lee facepalmed and stepped up to the top railing, looking down at the water. May was turning light blue, and Maire was bleeding from a large gash on her head.<br>Lee closed her eyes, and jumped feetfirst...  
>A second before being enveloped in the water, she heard the horrible laughter of the Demonic Announcer...<br>"Fetch me their souls!"

She swam over to Marie, who was closest, and grabbed onto her arm. She swam over to May with Marie in tow and grabbed her arm. She swam over to the shore with both her sister, Marie regaining conciousness, and a bright flash of light occured in the water.  
>Marie opened her eyes, the flash of light returning her to the real world, and saw, to her horror, a large shape moving towards them in the water.<br>I let down the back lifeboat, another elevator, and Lee heaved May onboard. Marie suddenly jerked around in her arms and flung herself onto the boat, which began to rise.  
>Lee grabbed on to the side and hung on for dear life when below her, a the gigantic, scarred head of a monster Orca whale sprung up from the cold depths of the water and bit her foot off.<br>Lee let out a banshee-like wail and let go of the boat, dropping 15 feet into the cold, blue, ocean depths.


	5. Nacht der Untoten Finale

**The death begins again as we return to the original horror of Nacht der Untoten, the map that started it all, where 10 rounds was a job well done, where the Eds suffer a loss.  
>Don't blame me for killing him, it was YOU who decided. Anyway, this one and the next two chapters will have death in them. And then the teams will change to only two, and we go to maps Vurruckt and Five.<br>For the next chapter, I have three syllables for you: CROC-O-DILES.  
>The chapter after that: DIE-SARAH-DIE!<br>So let's begin, and fangirls: please don't cry! Edd isn't dying.**

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!  
>Edd's Scoped Kar98 decapitated around thirteen zombies in the last three rounds. He also recieved twin M1911s from the Mystery Box. Eddy did it twice and got a Sawed-Off Double Barrel Shotgun w Grip and an MP40. But they were both jealous of Ed, who got a Flamethrower, a Pansersheck, and somehow traded in his knife for twin Ray Guns.  
>It was Round 20, and the zombies began to sprint, and the <em>Feast <em>beasts began to show up. Those fuckers are fast, nasty, and hungry. The have claws like Ginsu knives and more teeth than a chainsaw. Some also wear animal skins or something, and some have long dicks. All puke on people, and the victims slowly rot away, as maggots, worms and more disgusting vermin slither and crawl on them.  
>That's the actual discription in the movie, I'm not kidding.<p>

Ed covered the door to the Mystery Box room and Eddy covered the windows. Double D sniped zombies from above and for some odd reason that only I know, no zombies came from behind him.  
>Ed's Flamethrower overheated, his Pansersheck had two more missles left, his Ray Guns overheated, Eddy's MP40 ran out of ammo, and his Sawed-Off Double Barrel w Grip had two more rounds left. He cleared his windows and gave the panicking Ed a peptalk, but he forgot one thing...  
>"Ed! You're the badass one, you saved me and sockhead's lives, you have the awesome guns! You're the guy who's gonna save our ass-"<br>Eddy stood right in front of the secret wall the zombies can break through, but it wasn't zombies.  
>It was a foul beast.<br>Ed found himself showered in the blood of his best friend, watching his headless corpse hit the floor, the shotgun going off, hearing Edd's scream of pain...he lost it.

The beast jumped through the hole in the wall at the exact moment Ed's Ray Guns reheated. The beast was blown in half, it's blood and gore showering the next one.  
>It rushed at Ed, arms open wide, when Ed ducked and it slammed through the doorway. Ed dashed up the stairs, finding Edd on the floor, half his foot blown off.<br>The monster caught up with Ed, who was at the open part of the bunker that is good for sniping. The beast took no notice of Edd, and tripped on him, Ed ducked down and caught the beast by the legs, heaving up and sending it over the edge. It went headfirst into the truck outside, causing it to explode.

Ed heard the music and fell on his knees, crying softly. Edd needed no explanation, he knew Eddy was dead, or he'd be up here by now, celebrating living through another round with them.  
>There was no celebration, no jokes or laughs, Eddy was dead. The loudmouth, scamming, greedy, selfish, moneyloving, jerk of a buddy they came to love (no homo)...was dead.<br>The Eds lost their leader.  
>They lost their pal.<br>The lost their friend.  
>I came down, gave them the scores, and had them dissapear with me.<p>

They landed in the middle of a black space with my computor self. I was there, on a computor chair in front of four monitors, one of which was black. The other three showed a cinematic view of the events in the other chapters.  
>I turned to them, waved, and went back to typing in commands for my minions. Drink and snack machines appeared to their right, and they both attacked them, hungry and thristy like crazy.<p>

**"You want to know what happened to Eddy, yes?"**, I asked. They both nodded. I chuckled and opened a can of Mountain Dew beside the Shi no Numa monitor.  
>I took a sip and showed them the silver cross necklace I had on.<br>**"He's in a better place, now."**, I told them. I turned to the monitor, looking at Kevin and Rolf's progress, and typed in 'CROCODILES' on the keypad.  
>Kevin and Rolf's screams, coupled with Johnny's painful groans, made me evily grin. Rolf began fighting zombies at the wooden path across the ultrahot lake with his bare fists while Kevin, Johnny on his back, swam across the lake, crocs all around-well, let's not spoil the fun...<br>On the Kino der Toten monitor, I typed in 'FEAST 5' on the keypad, causing for to appear and begin to hunt down the two girls.  
>On the Call of the Dead monitor, I did nothing, for I knew the three girls would survive because the other two deaths would happen at Shi no Numa and Kino der Toten.<br>Ed and Edd didn't like the smile I had on.

**Tune in next time as Kevin struggles with saving his own hide or saving Johnny's as he slips closer and closer to death.  
>And later, as the homicidal sex rapists hunt down Nazz and Sarah, who will live? Nazz, who must escape Sarah's trap? Or will Sarah prevail and become the #1 Bitch?<br>These questions will be answered next time on Nazi Zombie! Only on Fanfiction: Unleash Your Imagination!  
>Read &amp; Review!<strong>


	6. Shi no Numa Finale

**Final chapter of the first part of the tournament. Then the teams change and it's off to Vurruckt and Five. This chapter will be a songchap, meaning it'll have a song attatched to it.  
>Can you say The One by Elana Siegman, the themesong to Shi no Numa?<br>Final two deaths are in this chapter! And there is a new killer in the waters. So be warned.  
>And Sarah won't die, yet...<strong>

_All my life I've been debating  
>All the crows, they sit there waiting<em>

"DUDE! Crocodiles!", yelled Kevin, pointing to several saltwater crocs moving towards them. Having no guns, and an injured Johnny onboard the flimsy boat, Kevin tried to paddle across the ultrahot lake with his hands.  
>That didn't work.<br>His hands became charred black, and the nails had fallen off.  
>But Rolf had an idea about getting to the boardwalk, since all the zombies had fallen in. Rolf jumped...<br>And landed perfectly on a crocodile head.  
>He jumped, landed, jumped, landed, all the way to the boardwalk. More zombie moans told him another round had begun. It was what, round seven?<p>

_My lust for you just cannot wait  
>Your skin, it tastes like choc-o-late<em>

"Go, Rolf, go!", Kevin shouted, lifting Johnny onto his back. He readied himself for the jump, but never got to...  
>A crocodile, unnoticed by the others, snuck up from behind and chomped the boat in half with it's large jaws. The teeth cut through the wood like a hot knife through butter.<br>Kevin and Johnny hit the water, both becoming enveloped in a hellfire of bubbles and steam.  
>Kevin, the strongest of the two, swam through the water screaming like a banshee. Johnny, already burnt beyond recongnition, sank beneath the murky depths of the lake, his bones dissolving with time.<p>

_I've been waiting, for someone, to find me, and become  
>A part of me<br>I've been waiting for you to come here, and kill me  
>I've been waiting for The One<em>

Meanwhile, Rolf had ran back to the Officer's Quarters (or whatever it's called) and was able to find a special thing in there: a typewriter.  
>The instructions were on the right. Rolf picked them up and read:<br>**Rolling Thunder  
>Napalm Strike<br>RC/DC  
>Fuel Air Bomb<br>Mortar Strike  
><strong>And on the left was a map or the area in grid format. Rolf smiled wickedly to himself. What? You didn't think there wouldn't be any explosions, did you?  
>Wondering what <strong>RCDC **was, Rolf typed it in on the typewriter along with the corordinates 18W, 19S. The area he typed in was the first room they appeared in.  
>He waited, and waited, and waited...<br>**BOOM!  
><strong>There was a small explosion at the building, and seconds later the whole thing fell down ina heap of rubble. Rolf smiled...

"Kevinboy!", Rolf yelled, running up to Kevin, who had perched himself on the side of the boardwalk, the areas below his calves were useless blackened bones.  
>Rolf picked Kevin up and dragged him to the Officer's Quarters, setting him up against the doorway. Then, seeing an M1 Garand on the wall, bought it and gave it to Kevin.<br>"Keep the demons away while Rolf calls in support.", Rolf told him, quickly running back to the typewriter, leaving a bewildered Kevin at the door.  
><em>PING! PING! PING!<br>_The Garand blasted the zombies apart, made the hellhounds permenantly play dead, and kept the crocs at bay. Rolf typed in **Mortar Strike **and 14N, 15E (the meteor). Moments later, three mortars slammed around the meteor, destroying it and the crocodiles.  
>I knew there was only one command I had left. So on my monitor, I typed in <strong>Blitzkrieg<strong>.  
>At once, zombies, hellhounds, crocodiles, and beasts all came from the swamp to kill and devour the two humans.<p>

"ROLF! NAPALM, NOW!", Kevin yelled to his best friend. Rolf typed in the airstrike and corodinates (the boardwalk) and seconds later, as always, two bombs dropped from the sky and the entire boardwalk, and everything around it, burst into flames.  
>Kevin and Rolf cheered like cheerleaders. But I had one more trick up my sleeve.<br>Kevin and Rolf's faces both dropped when, from nowhere, there came the sound of roaring. Hundreds of beasts, all ready to rumble, burst from the swamp's edge.  
>A tidal wave of terror, surging towards the victims...Rolf panicked.<br>He typed in **Fuel Air Bomb** and jumped through the window, typewriter in hands, leaving Kevin to get buttraped by the horde. Just as the first monster reached Kevin, whistling could be heard from the sky.  
>A Fuel Air Bomb, packed with flameable gas, dropped right on the monster nearest to Kevin, crushing it-<br>-and didn't explode.  
>The other monsters crowded around Kevin, ripping and tearing and biting at his flesh. Kevin suddenly ripped in half, and he screamed like a madman.<br>Grabbing the Garand with a few chose curses, he pointed it dead at the bomb.  
>"It fuckin' figures...", he mumbled, before pulling the trigger.<br>Green gas burst all around the Officer's Quarters, and a moment later..._**KER-WHAM!  
><strong>_An almighty explosion took place, blasting Rolf through the wooden wall of a nearby cabin, ripping the planks of others, and throwing debris everywhere.

"ROAR!", went the remaining monsters. They ran so fast and so angrily towards the limp form of Rolf, that he didn't think he would be done typing in **Rolling Thunder** on the typewriter before they arrived.  
>But he was, when the demons were yards away, Rolf was able to make out black objects dropping from the sky. He opened his arms wide, as if greeting a long lost relative.<br>Rolf smiled, at least now he would see Kevin, his best friend, and his recently deceased Nana. The bombs destroyed everything in their path, mud, debris, body parts, everything going everywhere.  
>Before the fire got to him, though, Rolf saw a white light. He knew this was the end for him. It was all over...<br>"I am Rolf", he slowly began as the light got to him, faint explosions in the background," Son of a sheppard." The white light eveloped him...


	7. Vurruckt

Rolf appeared, arms outward, on a pure white field. He wasn't dead, that's for sure. He looked around, spying the Ed, Edd, May, Lee, Marie, Nazz, and Sarah.  
>He also saw me, sitting at two computer monitors, one labeled <em>Vurruckt <em>and the other labeled _Five_. Putting the finishing touches on the two maps, I turned around in my chair and congratulated them.  
><strong>"Good job on surviving the first tier. There are two more left. Those of you who survive all tiers will go home and live happily ever after. Questions?"<strong>, I asked.  
>"Where are the others?", Lee asked. I shook my head and didn't answer, she was obviously in doubt that her 'boyfriend' was dead. Nazz raised her hand.<br>"Dude, like, where are we?", she asked.  
><strong>"You are in a survival-horror tournament called <em>Nazi Zombies.<em> It is being brodcast online live as we speak. There are sick people out there, but nobody cares about you because you are in another dimension called Cyberspace. It is being brodcast to my own diminsion called Real World."**, I told them. Sarah talked out loud like the loudmouth she is.  
>"And the rules?", she asked.<br>**"Survive any way you can. As you first noticed when you appeared in random areas there were three of you per team. Each team had an area to operate in. In total, there were twelve of you. Now, there are only eight of you. There will be two teams now, each consisting of four people. Ed, Edd, Nazz, and Sarah are on _Vurruckt_. May, Lee, Marie, and Rolf are on _Five_. Once you get there, the game starts at once."  
><strong>And with a snap of my fingers, they were gone to their respective maps.

Ed, Edd, Nazz, and Sarah all spawned-  
><strong>Okay, I'll just go with this. I'VE NEVER PLAYED VURRUCKT! I only know that it's set in a map based off of the World at War multiplayer map <em>Asylum<em>. I have a very slight idea of what's going on by the trailer, which dosent help much either. So, I'm just going to make it up!  
>Oh, and there is a special friend who wants to play. I'll give you two hints: he was a boss in a Rockstar videogame and he is mentally retarded.<br>**-in a large room, all with pistols in their hands with the exception of Ed, who had his guns from the last map (Pansershreck, Heavy Machine Gun, and twin Ray Guns in place of knives).  
>At once, the zombies came. Busting down parts of the walls, barricades, and doors. Nazz knifed them, which didn't help at all because I set the Round level to 20 before they arrived. I set it to 30 on <em>Five.<em>  
>Ed pulled out the Heavy Machine Gun (lets just say it's an M60 to save time) and...it was Some Assembly Required. He pulled out his Ray Guns...and they required uranium to work. The Pansershreck had one shell in it, so...<br>POW! POW! POW!  
>...Ed used his fists?<p>

Double D had to empty all his bullets into one zombie to make the health go down 50%. More zombies crowded around them, making surviving seem impossible.  
>Suddenly, a miracle happened: the room was filled with the sound of machine gun fire. Ed got his M60 to fire by putting a belt of bullets in it. That was the Some Assembly Required for it...no joke.<br>RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!  
>The zombies fell like rocks in water. The machine gun sliced through their bodies like it was paper-mache. Guts and intestines and blood was flung and poured everywhere. Heads exploded, limbs ripped apart, clothes torn to pieces, guts everywhere! And then it ran out of ammo when the next wave came.<br>So Ed put in another belt and went to work. The wave was slaughtered just like the last one, with the exact same bloody results.

Nazz, the hottest one in the group, threw grenades which only added to the chaos. But she kept an eye on the bitch herself, Sarah. She had been doing nothing but waiting around and staring at the massacre, at the blood splattering on the walls-  
>Wait a minute...<br>Nazz noticed something was odd about this building. She knew from history that this place was a Nazi asylum during the war, but something was off. While most of the room was made of wood, an entire wall was made of concrete. In fact, it was the only concrete wall in the entire place. And there was a vent near the floor, where she could see something moving...  
>There was something in the wall...<br>BLAM!  
>The lights went out all over the building. All the doors unlocked, everything. The electricity had shorted out. And something else happened.<br>The rounds were tracked on the concrete wall by lines. There were 21 lines just before the power went out, now there were only five.  
>The zombies slowed down to a shuffle, making them easier targets for Ed, as if they wern't already. Something was up...something very bad...<p>

Sarah jumped a little when the lights went out, and looked around when the doors opened. The door that led deeper into the asylum was also a door with a hallway beyond it. At the very end of the hallway, she saw a large figure move...  
>Even all the way over there, she knew who it was...<br>"No...", she whispered.  
>Sarah held a dark secret that nobody except her family, save Ed, knew. Her family, except Ed, were necrophilliacs. They adored violence and worshipped murder. Her great-grandfather was the notorious John Wayne Gacy (I think that's his full name, I know it ends with Gacy...).<br>Her father, one Lionel Starkweather, was a snuff film director. Her mother would murder some to "please his wild side". In other words, he gets a jolly out of murder.  
>When Ed was born, Lionel thought he would be able to keep his snuff ring alive by having his son star in them. It wasn't until Ed was five when they discovered Ed wasn't into murder, but monsters. He was retarded, yellow-skinned, had no chin, had a monobrow, was into monster movies and models.. in other words, he was a big dissapointment to the family. They kept him in the basement, and treated their little bitch princess like she was a goddess.<br>Another disturbing thing was that Sarah participated in incest sex with her father before he began masturbating to murder. Sarah adored her father's movies, and it broke her heart when he died. She never liked his new star, James, she preferred his old one. He was retarded, deformed, and a phsycopath, but in her eyes he was an idol to be worshipped and fucked. She wanted to bear his piglets more than anything in the world...

**Okay, one: that was so disturbing I can't see straight. And two: I have given you hints up the ass as to who the monster is. Here are some more: he wields a red chainsaw and was in a seriously violent Rockstar videogame.**

Sarah dashed down the hall towards her phsyco crush. She caught up to him and jumped on his back, taking in deep sniffs of his pink, fleshy ears. The sound of his chainsaw made her wet. She was shivering all over for her pshyco-  
>Rotten hands grabbed her head and pulled her off, tearing out bits of her hair. The zombie was quickly sliced apart by the red chainsaw, his signature X on it.<br>He looked at her over his large midsection, eyes staring at her thorugh the pig's head. Sarah smiled as he raised his chainsaw-  
>Wait, what?<br>He slashed the chainsaw across Sarah's belly, blood spewing and intestines puring out. Sarah screamed. He picked her up in one beefy hand and threw her against the wall, causing it to crack. He sliced into her back, causing more blood to spill.  
>He kciked her onto her back, making her stare into his eyes.<br>"Piggsy angry! ANGRY!", he yelled.  
>And with that, Piggsy brought down his chainsaw onto Sarah's head, killing her very painfully.<p> 


	8. Five

**Songchap time! This time, the song is the Black Ops and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol Trailer themes. It's "Won't Back Down" by Eminem ft. Pink.  
>Also, how many of you knew it was Piggsy in the last chapter? None? Shame...<strong>

_You can sell me your love  
>You can call out your dogs<br>You can fence in your yard  
>You can hold all the cards<br>But I won't...back...down!  
>Oh, no, I won't...back...down!<br>Oh, no!_

Rolf's Olympia was a very bad gun to have on the 30+ rounds. Two shots before you have to reload again is very, very bad against these zombies.  
>Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that <em>another <em>monster is new and exclusive to this level. It only appears in the bottom floor, and is pretty much a demon. He's big, he's bad, he's was voted "Most Likely to Kick Your Ass!", he's Rick Raptor and his Pack! Rick is the head of a group of four velociraptors who have killed all the people in the bottom floor and have used concrete blocks to create barriers against the zombies.  
>But there are two groups of survivors: The Rangers and the Spetznaz. The Rangers are Secret Service and scientists who survived the initial massacre, fled to the bottom floor, and survived the supsequent massacre down there. The Spetznaz are prisoners who were kept in high security facilities, escaped during the assault, and those who survived both massacres have taken shelter in the bottom floor with the Rangers, but they each occupy a different side and the Raptors kill them both. The funny thing is The Rangers and Spetznaz not only fight the Raptors, but each other.<br>Each have 30 men (40 for the Rangers if you count the scientists who don't fight). Rolf and Marie are with the Rangers and Lee and May are with the Spetznaz. What I'm doing is bringing a multiplayer fling to the Nazi Zombies storyline.  
>It goes something like this: Rangers w Rolf & Marie vs. Spetznaz w/ Lee & May vs. Rick & The Raptors vs. Nazi Zombies.

_Caddilacs and pills  
>Coup Devilles<br>Brain dead rings, yeah  
>Stupid you or him<em>

What I do I do at will  
>Shootin' from the hip<br>Yeah, boy  
>Shoot to kill<p>

"CONTACT!", yelled the Sargeant, aiming his FN FAL into a horde of zombies. The two Rangers beside him opened fire with their Commandos. In the air vents, a Raptor watched the carnage, wondering when to pounce on it's prey.  
>Three halls to the right, the Spetznaz Sargeant fired his AK-47 w Flamethrower into another horde of zombies, May, Lee, and the three Commandos beside him shooting their automatics.  
>There was a yell to their left, the Raptor had pounced, killing the Sarge and his Rangers with quick and relativley silent kills.<p>

Near the elevator, Rolf and Marie herded the surviving Rangers into the lift, preparing to take them to safety. As a bonus, I gave them the secondary objective of rescuing the scientists for a surprise.  
>So far the Rangers were winning, while the Spetznaz distracted the Raptors and zombies at the bottom floor. The elevator went up to the War Room, at which point they crossed the room, killing a few zombies who drifted from the fight downstairs. They boarded the elevator to the top floor and killed even fewer zombies to reach the Safe Room marked by red doors and traps all around it.<br>After deactivating the traps, they herded the survivors in, winning 1,000 points times eight for every survivor.  
>So 34x1,000x8=56,000 points for both Rolf and Marie!<p>

_How you douchebags feel  
>Knowin' you're disposible<br>_"Yes, Kankergirl! Now we only need to kill the wait for a few more rounds and we win!", Rolf exclaimed.  
><em>Shady's got the mass appeal<br>Quit the shit cause it's your [BANGBANG] jam  
>Fuck a snake, slut<br>I cut my toes off  
>Step on the receit<em>

Downstairs, May was running faster than ever before as Rick and two more Raptors chased her into a trap. At the end of the hallway, the other two Raptors waited to take May down to devour her as a group.  
>Lee saw what was ahppening and abandoned her Spetznaz crew to help her sister. The Spetznaz Sargeant, sensing weakness in this little girl brought up his Crossbow and fired an explosive round. Just when he pulled the trigger, a zombie jumped on him and bit his neck, causing him to misfire the weapon into his comrade.<br>**NOTE: All Spetznaz have Explosive Crossbows**.  
>Explosions were everywhere. Explosive arrows went this way and that way, causing a Domino Effect. Eventually, everything was exploding.<br>Lee soon found herself outrunning a hail of explosive arrows, where each explosion knocked another arrow already flying even more offcourse. Her large hair was on fire, her legs were scarred and burned, her clothes were ripped and torn at places, she was bleeding in places.

Arrows went right into May's path, one even hit a persuing Raptor in the eye, causing it to collapse into the other Raptor and they both exploded in a shower of gore, making Rick the only Raptor pursuing food and outrunning explosive arrows.  
>But May was once again proven slowest as Rick outran her and Lee was forced to take a different direction. Eight arrows stuck to her body, all going straight through her and sticking out the other side of her.<br>For a second she knew what would happen, she stared straight forward, seeing her sister jump into the elevator and turn to look at her, tears swelling in her eyes.  
>Then <strong><em>BOOM!<br>_**The area was showered in the blood and gore of May Kanker, the three surviving Raptors saw this before escaping through the vents.  
>The elevator doors closed a moment before the explosions got to them. Of the 30 Spetznaz, only eight were still alive and low on ammo (counting Lee). They looked at one another, shock expressed on their bloody faces.<br>"What now?", asked the soldier closest to the doors.  
>"No, the question is 'how the fuck did that happen?'", said another.<br>A scientist, the only one the Spetznaz rescued, spoke up. "The equipment we had down there was very flammable. It would only take a grenade in the right spot to make the whole place light up. But even if you had ten grenades, our equipment was reinforced with steel plating. But the arrows had C4-type explosives on their tips, making them more powerful, plus they were going all over the place."

Eventually, the survivors got to the top floor and went into the Safe Room with the Rangers and scientists, who luckily didn't fire. Outside, the three main people grieved over the loss of May, Rolf not so much as the sisters.  
>"So, do we win now?", Marie asked.<br>"I don't think so, bitch!", said a voice from the vents. Moments later, Rick and the other two dove down and slashed into Marie's back. Inside, the Rangers and Spetznaz struggled over what to do, but as soon as they reached an agreement...  
>CRASH!<br>Zombies came crashing down through the ceiling and into the midst of the survivors, who back away just in time to fight round 40+ zombies with low ammo.  
>"This just keeps getting better and better, don't it?", asked a Ranger, getting out his half-empty SPAZ-12. A Spetznaz beside him got out two Ballistic knives. And a scientist beside him fell to the floor, the shock scaring him silly.<p> 


	9. Kryptonite

BANG! BANG! BANG! The Rangers and Spetznaz took care of the zombies fairly quick, not sustaining a single casualty. But once they killed the last few, they found that they were all out of ammo.  
>Outside, Rolf, Marie, and Lee were having trouble with the Raptors. Being fast helped them alot, and being low on ammo didn't work out for the humans.<br>Eventually, the humans began to fight with punches and kicks. The Raptors owned them...

_I took a walk around the world  
>To ease my troubled mind<br>I left my body lying somewhere  
>In the sands of time<em>

"BABY SISTER!", exclaimed Eddy seeing Sarah's corpse on the floor, blood covering the the hallway. Written on the already bloodstained walls, in blood was _SNIFF SNIFF_. Nazz and Edd, behind Ed, held off the zombie horde with their newly aqquired MP40 and Thompson (Nazz-MP40, Edd-Thompson).  
>"Oink, oink, oink!", went a voice, strangely echoed in the suddenly bigger hallway. Ed looked up and saw a fat shape further down the hallway. The plump figure laughed menicingly and ran, an angry Ed close behind him with an M60.<p>

_I watched the world float to  
>The dark side of the moon<br>I knew there's nothing  
>I can do, yeah<em>

Lee flew facefirst into the wall by a Raptor kick, breaking her nose. Meanwhile, Marie was busy trying to get Rick off her back, who was steadily clawing his way through her flesh. Out of all of them, however, only Rolf was able to dodge the Raptor's attacks, and the Raptor dodged his.  
>Rick eventually bit down on Marie's shoulder, causing her to scream shrilly. Rolf became distracted for a split-second, and the Raptor took it's large toe-claw and sliced into his stomach. Or where his stomach was if Rolf didn't see it coming. He rolled to the side, and the claw sliced into his side instead. Even though it wasn't life threatning, it was still painful.<br>Lee's hair was ripped violently out of her scalp by the Raptor she was facing. The Raptor uppercutted into Lee's stomach with it's claws, ripping into her stomach and spilling a steaming pile of guts out.

_I watched the world float to  
>The dark side of the moon<br>After all I knew, it had to  
>Be something to do with you<em>

Piggsy was just out of Ed's reach, mostly because this Asylum was a fucking maze! Ed looked in one room and another before realizing Piggsy moved out the other door of one of the previous rooms and into another hallway altogether. Eventually, everybody got split up. Nobody knew where anybody else was.  
>Nazz was four halls away from Piggsy, who was eight halls away from Ed, who was six halls away from Double D, and the Nazi Zombies were all mixed into every hallway. But that didn't help them locate each other because the noise somehow echos.<p>

_I really don't mind what happens  
>Now and then<br>As long as you'll be my friend  
>At the end<em>

Rick eventually pinned Marie to the floor, lying in a pool of her sister's blood. The other two Raptor were converging on Rolf, who had somehow aquired a Machete and was now dueling with the Raptors.  
>Inside the saferoom, it took the survivors ten whole minutes of pushing on the door to realize it was bolted shut from the outside, and the windows were bulletproof.<br>Rolf was thrown into the elevator, the three Raptors inside with him. Marie was more unlucky, however, as Rick had decided to rape her instead of simply eating her. She was definately the most beautiful of her sisters. She was much less atractive than his mate, Rochelle, who was in the elevator with Rolf, or her sister Rendy, but she was attractive...for a human at least.

_If I go crazy, then  
>Will you still call me Superman?<br>If I'm alive and well,  
>Will you be there, holding my hand?<em>

Edd's Thompson soon became out of ammo, so he picked up a Trench Gun from a downed guard and blasted the zombies with it. But the kick was too painful, so he traded that for a Mystery Box choice. The zombies froze, and when his gun, a Thundergun, appeared out of thin air, he took it. The zombies unfroze, Edd pulled the trigger, and-  
>SHLAM!<br>The Thundergun sent a shockwave which exploded the zombies _and _literally blew Edd away (through walls). He slammed into Ed, they kept going.  
>Piggsy...and still kept going.<br>Nazz...still going.  
>Hordes of zombies...going.<br>More and more walls...going still.  
>Electric fence...KA-BLAM!<p>

_I'll keep you by my side  
>With my superhuman might,<br>Kryptonite..._

"Back, demon spawn, back I say!", excalimed Rolf as Rochelle and Rendy clawed at him. Rolf's Machete broke long ago in the elevator, so they were down in the War Room.  
>Upstairs, Marie screamed and called for help. But Rolf couldn't hear her and the survivors couldn't do shit. Rick had slashed her clothes off, rendering her naked, and was now...<br>You know...

_You called me strong  
>You called me weak<br>But still your secrets  
>I will keep<em>

The three eventually escaped Piggsy's wrath, and into the zombies'. Nazz had a long slash on her back, Edd's right arm was rendered useless by overelectrocution, only Ed's powerful body wasn't injured. While Double D and Nazz kept the zombies at bay, Ed emptied his entire M60 into Piggsy, which only gave him many holes in his body. When his M60 ran out of ammo, he switched to his Ray Guns. Piggsy was on fire, but he still came closer...

_You stumbled in, hurt your head  
>If not for me, then you'd be dead<br>I picked you up, and put you  
>Back on solid ground<em>

"AHHHH! GET OFF ME!", Marie screamed as Rick violated her. His claws dug into her back and sholders, his teeth made her neck bleed, her hair was ruffled.  
>Downstairs, Rolf lured the the Raptors into a trap, using his blood as bait. The two female lizards inched closer to him on either side of the walkway. Unbeknownst to them, Rolf had hidden some C4 in the electrical panel behind him, and the resulting explosion would take the two of them out.<br>The females ran, Rolf jumped over the railing the Raptors colided, the C4 exploded...  
>Sending the entire War Room up in flames.<p>

_If I go crazy, then  
>Will you still call me Superman?<br>If I'm alive and well,  
>Will you be there, holding my hand?<em>

Ed had enough. Piggsy was acting like Jason or Freddy or Micheal or Leatherface or Chucky or the Leperechaun or Chuck Norris. Bullshit! He was just a Leatherface poser!  
>"ED KILL POSER!", Ed exclaimed pulling out his Pansershreck with one shell in it. He fired...<br>And missed. The shell went directly past Piggsy's head, and hit the building behind him. The entire thing went up in a massive inferno. The explosions and flames went on to the building next to it, and the one next to it, and before long the entire compound was a big flaming ball of awesomeness.  
>While Nazz and Double D were staring in terror at the now flaming zombies and the seemingly unstoppable Piggsy. Ed only stared, open mouthed and in awe, and said the only word that came to mind:<br>"Cool!"

_I'll keep you by my side  
>With my superhuman might<br>Kryptonite...YEAH!_

Rolf wasn't there when the scientist said the equipment was insanely flammable, so he had no idea the whole place would go all 'chitty-chitty-bang-bang' on him. He barely escaped with a few 3rd degree burns of his torso via the somehow still working elevator. Once he got to the top, however, a blackened Rochelle pulled him from the lift just as it came crashing down in a heap of rubble at the bottom of the Pentegon.  
>"I lost my sister and friends because of you! Now you're going to lose your life!", she yelled in Rolf's face. Rolf just smiled and said "You first."<br>Rolf took out a Semtex put it up her 'area', causing her to yell out. Rick noticed this and ran over to her, kissing her just before-  
>BLAM!<p>

_If I go crazy, then  
>Will you still call me Superman?<br>If I'm alive and well  
>Will you be there a-holding my hand?<em>

Piggsy charged Ed, chainsaw in front of him. But Ed dodged, causing the chainsaw to jut through Nazz instead. She screamed, blood spewing down her front. Edd backed away in horror, and Ed decided to end her misery...  
>With a white phosphorus grenade.<br>He plucked the pin and threw it. After a five second delay, the thing burst into a large and dazzling eruption of fire.  
>Afterwords, the white light descended and they all found themselves back in my place.<p>

_I'll keep you by my side  
>With my superhuman might<br>Kryptonite..._

**The next chapter is the last. And if you think you know how it all goes down...  
>You don't have a clue!<br>Song: _Kryptonite_ by Three Doors Down. Album: _Away from the Sun._**


	10. Nuketown

**"I will rip your heart out, and eat your soul."-_Jennifer's Body.  
><em>"Give to them nothing! But take from them, EVERYTHING!"-_300.  
><em>"Only I can live forever."-_Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2.  
><em>"Fuck you, Fido!"-_Nazi Zombies.  
><em>"Welcome to my world, bitch!", _Freddy vs. Jason._**

**This chapter marks the end of the Nazi Zombies story. I have absolutely no idea why I put the quotes in, I just did. Anyway, there are only four survivors, and going against what I said on the first chapter, they will _not_ be going to Der Riese. They will instead be going to: Nuketown!  
>Why?<br>See for yourself! And there will be _two _songs this time! I'm trying to make this chapter the longest I've ever written. So there will be fighting, a break until the next afternoon, and then more fighting.  
>So...ready?<strong>

* * *

><p>The four survivors (Ed, Edd, Marie, and Rolf) appeared in the middle of Nuketown, right between the school bus and the trailer. The black jeep at the barbed wire had a .50 Caliber machine gun attatched to it. The houses were pretty much the same, the fake people were still there, the Mailbox Easter Egg was still there, it seemed everything was in place...<br>Looking up, they saw that the Spy Plane, Counter-Spy Plane, and Blackbird were flying around the map permenantly. Also, there were two sheets of paper attached to the trailer.

One said:  
><strong>Napalm Strike<br>Rolling Thunder  
>RC-XD<br>Fuel Air Bomb  
>Attack Dogs<br>Care Package  
>Nuclear Bunker Buster<br>M.O.A.B.  
>Artillery<br>Rocket Artillery  
>Surgical Strike<br>B.F.G. Care Package  
>Cluster Bomb<br>Apache Gun Run  
>Apache Missile Run<br>Bell Huey Gunner  
>Tiny Tim Missile<strong>

The other one said:  
><strong>Your objective is to survive at any and all costs. Good luck.<br>P.S.- There is no typewriter. It's a computer.**

"Well, that dosen't help us any!", Marie exclaimed. But Rolf knew how to work it, and was determined to survive with his friends at any and all costs.  
>But before he could say anything, there was a bloodcurdling roar. Velociraptors, a dozen of them.<br>"RUN!", yelled Ed, giving their position away. The Raptors rushed their position, clearing the barbed wire in a matter of seconds. Ed and Edd ran into the house on the right, and Rolf and Marie ran into the house on the left. The Raptors lost track of them, and instead began sniffing around or doing mating dances.

"Double D! What do we do!", Ed whispered violently. Edd shushed him, instead peeking out the window and looking at the Raptors.  
>Double D quietly reached for his Sniper Rifle, but instead found something leathery and rough, but somehow smooth. Both he and Ed looked around, and saw that Double D had grabbed a Raptor by it's tail.<br>"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...", it growled. The two Eds gulped.  
>The Raptor screeched, alerting the others. Ed grabbed the nearest thing he could find (a fake person) and whacked the dinosaur upside the face with it.<br>The Raptor went _through_the wall and into a car, causing it to explode.

The four teens quickly found out that their guns were all gone. Instead, Rolf and Marie found a third letter attached to the wall at their house.  
><strong>Care Packages:<br>Sargeant- Carbine Assault Rifle (Duel Magazines), Twin Python Revolvers, Fragmentation Grenades, Willy Petes, C4 Explosives, Hardened Pro, Slight of Hand Pro, Hacker Pro.**

**Sniper- Semi-Automatic Springfield Rifle (Adjustable Scope), Crossbow w/ Explosive Arrows, Tomahawks, Flashbangs, Camera Spike, Ghost Pro, Ninja Pro, Scavenger Pro.**

**Grunt- AK47u (XL Magazines), Ballistic Knives, Nova 6, Decoys, Jammer, Scavenger Pro, Ninja Pro, Slight of Hand Pro.**

**Demolitions Officer- M60 Heavy Machine Gun w/ Flamethrower, RPG-7, White Phosphorus Grenades, Nova 6 Canisters, Nitroglycerin Satchel Charges, "Broken Arrow" Code, Laptop, Flak Jacket Pro, Batter-Ed Pro, WMD Pro.**

The Raptors were swarming the Eds house like a swarm of angry wasps. Ed was kicking and punching and pushing and shoving the Raptors out the windows and doors and floor.  
>Double D even got into it...by trying to shoo the Raptors away with a napkin like an old British guy shooing away a butler.<br>Ed eventually broke into a closet and found a L4D Auto-Shotgun.  
>BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!<br>The Raptors were torn to pieces by the sheer awesomeness of Ed's gun, blown away by the high-damage bullets, running away because of common sense.

Meanwhile, Rolf had found a halfworking but _very slow _Compaq computer upstairs. After typing in **Care Package **four times, the steady hum of helicopters came and went, with loud _thumps _inbetween.  
>Rolf and Marie ran out and saw that four large black cases were in the backyard. Rolf opened one and got the <strong>Sargeant Care Package<strong>. Marie opened up one and got the **Grunt Care Package**.  
>Not five seconds later, the seven surviving Raptors who made it through Eds violent purge decended on them. Rolf opened fire with his Carbine and Marie used her AK47u.<br>The Raptors, however, were more agile than the two humans and actually _dodged _the bullets. How do you dodge bullets! Superman and Wonderwoman deflect them, but they don't have to _dodge_!  
>Anyway, Marie was pinned to the ground by three of the Raptors while the other four knocked Rolf back and forth like a toy, before stabbing him in the back with their claws.<br>**  
><strong>But then...  
>SLAM!<br>The largest and heaviest case slammed into one of the Raptors converging on Rolf, crushing it to death. Ed and Edd had arrived, the latter already having his **Sniper Care Package**. Ed still had his Auto-Shotgun, and blew another Raptor to bits. The others panicked and ran away.  
>"Marie! Rolf! Come on, they'll be back any second now!", Edd hurried the two injured teens. He picked up Marie, making her blush madly, and grabbed Rolf by the arm.<br>"Ed! Hurry!", he yelled. But Ed wasn't paying attention. He was staring up at the roof of the building Rolf and Marie were in, and following his line of sight, the three teens drained of color.  
>They were up on the roof, spears and arrows in hand, crude armor plating on their bodies, prying yellow eyes delving deep into the souls behind the teens eyes...<br>Dog Soldiers from _Dog Soldiers_...except twice as cool.

The leader raised his spear in throwing position, the others copying his every move with their individual spears and arrows. Ed was calmly, but slowly and without taking his eyes off the leader's, putting his **Demolition Officer Care Package** on.  
>Once the trench coat, gas mask, and boots were on, and his weapons were locked and loaded, he finally spoke.<br>"RUN!"  
>"ATTACK!"<br>"Crap..."

The three teens ran without slowing down for a second to the relative safety of the other house. Arrows pelting all around them, the three made it inside nanoseconds before two arrows slammed into the spot where Double D was.  
>Ed, meanwhile, was taking cover behind the garden fence, firing his M60 into the werewolves' position inside the house. Catching a few of them in the hand or across the leg, Ed didn't do much damage to the Dog Soldiers. And besides a small scratch across Ed's belt, they didn't do much damage either.<br>A few Dog Soldiers broke off into a small hunting group to flush out the other three teens. Rolf planted two C4 charges by the door, one on one side the other on the other side.  
>But the Dog Soldiers caught a glimpse of Rolf placing the charges in advance, so they knew where they were at. They signaled the Soldiers at the other house to fire an arrow next to the door.<br>The arrow struck the wall, went through it, detonated the C4, which shot the tip of the arrow forward like a bullet, and into Rolf's stomach. Blood spurted out of Rolf's mouth and he stumbled forward (he was hiding behind the two dummies playing chess), falling to the ground and triggered the detonater, causing the other somehow untouched and active C4 to explode...  
>Causing some of the ceiling to collapse.<p>

Upstairs, Edd lost his balance when the ceiling collapsed and stumbled into Marie. But the hilarious thing is that instead of just knocking the two of them over, Double D's face landed right smack in the middle of Marie's covered 36-D breasts.  
>Double D blushed like a friggin' tomato, and so did Marie. But the moment was inturrupted almost at once by Marie's bloodcudling scream of terror. Double D looked behind him at the window, and saw a Dog Soldier Hunter, carrying an iron spear and badass looking armor, Apache face paint on his cheeks.<br>He readied the spear, aiming directly for Edd's face. Marie was too terrified to do anything. Suddenly, the floor caved in underneath the two teens, the spear snagging Double D's hat and pinning it to the far wall at the back of the house.  
>Under them, Rolf had readied a Frag Grenade when the other two Hunters sneaked in through the back door. Rolf knew they entered through the back door, and the third was upstairs, but he didn't see the <em>fourth<em> Hunter. The beast carried twin hatchets, and entered through the back door and proceded downstairs. Rolf was preoccupied with the other two Hunters, so the fourth one quickly and quietly rushed towards Rolf and planted it's hatchets right in his back.  
>The grenade dropped to the floor and exploded, blowing the four away and collapsing the ceiling...<p>

Ed was somehow able to escape the hail of arrows and spears, running to the other house just in time to see the ceiling collapse. He dashed under the falling rubble and charged into Rolf, saving him from the bed that would've crushed him seconds later.  
>Edd and Marie slammed into the ground, debris and rubble thundering around them. Double D saw a still spinning ceiling fan from upstairs coming straight from him and Marie. Courage taking over fear for once, he grabbed Maire by the waist and rolled away a moments before the fan slammed into the ground where they were.<br>After the carnage, Marie looked up into Double D's eyes, his long golden locks tickling her cheeks. His hair was long and flowing, coming down to his shoulders, and was 'dumb blonde obbesed with shopping and dating' blonde.

SLAM!  
>The Hunter upstairs jumped down, slamming into Edd's back, causing a loud and sharp <em>crack <em>to ring out. The Hunter pulled out his secondary weapon, a Tomahawk, and threw it at Ed, who was getting back up. The Tomahawk hit the armor Ed was wearing, but barely penitrated the first layer.  
>Ed fully got up and ran at the Hunter, punching it square in the snout. The Hunter doubled back, but then cracked Ed across the face with it's elbow. Then it clawed Ed's back, it's sharp claws still not penitrating the armor, Ed ran backwards, slamming the Hunter on his back into the wall. But the Hunter kicked foward, pushing Ed back to the ground. It jumped, claws unsheathed, and was about to bring Ed down when Marie appeared, steel rod in her hands.<br>She brung the rod up against the creatures head, causing it's skull to crack, killing it. Almost in immediate retaliation, an explosive arrow struck the rod.  
>Beep-<br>"MARIE!", exclaimed Double D.  
>BEEP-<br>Marie froze, to scared to do anything.  
><em>BEEP-<br>_The werewolf who fired the arrow smiled.  
><strong><em>BOOM!<em>**

* * *

><p>Five hours later, the entire town was silent as could be. The survivors had barricaded themselves in the house, since the werewolves left and the Nazi Zombies appeared.<br>These were true zombies, most stumbling around, few jogging, two or three running. There were forty of them, spread out all across the town. A few dead ones were stuck in the barbed wire near the .50 Caliber Jeep. The undead crowded around the barricaded house, clawing at the windows, hoping to see or sense a sign of life.  
>But they couldn't see or sense the goings on upstairs.<p>

Ed and Rolf were at Ed's Laptop, studying the map via Blackbird. Claymores and C4 were set at entrances to the house and on the stairway, plus an escape hatch to the roof. Edd and Marie, who had 2nd degree burns on her arms, watched over the upstairs backdoor that led to the patio outside. Marie was unable to hold a gun, so Edd kept his sniper rifle by his side, letting Marie rest.

_Is there an escape?_, typed Ed.  
><strong><em>Of course not, you twit. Cloverfield 2 made sure that nobody could get in or out. But he did leave one thing here on purpose.<em>**, the computer replied.  
><em>What?<br>**A secret passage through the sewers that leads to the other side of the map. In the original game, there is a way to get RC/XDs across to the other side of the map via a passage around the map. But now there is a way through the sewers.  
><strong>How do we win?  
><strong>Survive until tomorrow afternoon.<br>**And then what?  
><strong>Bonus stage...<br>**_Ed and Rolf both lost their color at the thought of going through a bonus stage. Curiostiy taking over, Ed typed.  
><em>What is it?<br>_**_Escape a city built for speed and destruction during a Dog Soldier apacolypse.  
><em>**_Split/Second?  
><strong>Bingo! <strong>_

"Raugh!", went a zombie, breaking through the planks covering the upstairs back door. Edd fired his sniper rifle, the deafening sound alerting the other undead.  
>Soon, the zombie horde began to break trough every window and door in the house. Ed packed up his Laptop and other equipment in record time.<br>"Let's go! Up the escape hatch! I'm gonna blow em' all to Hell!", Ed yelled, readying his detonater. Rolf went first, followed by Edd carrying Marie on his back. Ed stayed down for a little bit, waiting for the zombies to enter the door building.  
>BOOM! BOOM! BOO- BOOM!<br>Hearing the Claymores going off, Ed dashed up the hatch, narrowly escaping the zombies.

Rolf had already jumped onto the schoolbus, and was helping Marie get on while Edd covered them from the roof. Ed dumped some grenades down the hatch and into the zombies reaching desperatly up to him.  
>"Double D, run! I'm gonna blow it!", Ed yelled.<br>Double D ranto the very edge of the roof before jumping onto the bus. Ed jumped after him seconds later, pointing to the other building.  
>The four jumped onto the trailer, and then through the window. Once Ed was sure all the zombies were in the rigged building, he pulled the trigger on his detonator.<br>*CLICK*  
>Nothing happened.<br>*CLICK*  
>*CLICK*<br>*CLICK*  
>Still nothing,<br>Ed was getting frustrated, and the zombies were starting to realize that their prey wasn't on the roof anymore. A few started to walk out the door and towardsthe open house the fur kids wer ein.  
>Ed got out his RPG-7 and put a shell in it. He made sure to aim for the zombie directly in the doorway. He pulled the trigger and the Rocket Propelled Grenade tore through the air.<br>CRACK!  
>The shell his the zombie in the face, breaking it's head apart. The shell then bounced around for a minute, but didn't explode.<br>"It's a dud?", asked Double D.  
>*CLINK*<br>**KA-BOOM!**

The house erupted in a fireball, the roof was blown clean off and landed somewhere in the desert. The walls blew outward, the schoolbus tipped over, the zombies were annihilated.  
>The few zombies in the street got torn apart by flying projectiles and the sheer heat. One was even blasted through the barbed wire.<br>The zombies were dead...  
>Ed and Rolf let out a sigh of relief. Double D fainted onto Marie. Marie just tried to slow her breathing.<br>SQUIRT.  
>Blood splatered on Eds face. Startled by it, he rubbed it off and looked beside him, only to find the Rolf had a Tomahawk through his forehead.<br>"ATTACK!", yelled the Pack Leader.  
>Dawn had come, and so had the Dog Soldiers.<p>

* * *

><p>The Apache attack helicopter fired ten missles into the designated target, killing dozens of zombies. In the Bell Huey beside it, the gunner on the .50 Cal ripped into the Dog Soldiers hiding spot, killing a few. 3,000 feet in the sky, a Nighthawk stealth bomber dropped a Clusterbomb, which pread out and killed many Feast beasts.<br>In the house, Ed opened up on the zombies and Feast beasts, slaughtering them. The town was caked in blood, which oozed down the walls and bubbled on the burning school bus and trailer.  
>Edd sniped from the roof, dodging Tomahawks and arrows when he needed. Marie's fingers had long since gone numb, and since she couldn't feel anything, she typed in the locations where air strikes and care packages would come.<p>

The Dog Soldiers shot down the helicopter carrying the **B.F.G. Care Package**, and aqquired the weapon. B.F.G. stands for Big Fucking Gun, and the Death Machine is a big fucking gun!  
>The <em>Super 8 <em>bounded around the map, pushing and trampling zombies out of the way. The Apache couldn't get a bead on it, and explosives were the only thing that damaged it.  
>The monster jumped onto the roof and then jumped off. The rest is in slow motion.<br>_The Bell Huey gunner opened fire with the .50 Cal. The bullets burst through the monsters flesh, injuring it. But the monster kept going, _eventually slamming into the Bell Huey. It ripped apart the gunner and brought the chopper to the ground with a mighty explosion.  
>The monster crawled out of the wreackage, bleeding great gushes of blood. The Apache finally got a bead on the thing, the missles locked on, and-<br>BOOM!  
>The Apache's tail exploded, the helicopter breaking into two halves. The missles shot wildly blowing apart buildings outside the barbed wire.<br>The helicopter crashed with another might explosion, the _Super 8 _jumping out of the way just in time. Up in the air, there was a faint explosion, and a fireball came down from the sky and into the sand. The explosion echoed across the land.

"What was that?", excalimed Double D, who had darted back into the house. Ed was at a loss for words, he too, was taken by surprise of the sudden attack.  
>"We've got another problem. The friggin' helicopters won't come to drop anything. The only response I'm getting is the Air Strikes and the computer. He says it's lighting up like the 4th of July, and the A.I. military says it's nothing they've ever seen before.", reported Marie.<br>Ed checked his watch. It was 11:30 A.M.  
>"Alright, thirty more minutes and we can leave.", he said.<p>

Edd ran back onto the roof, Jet Fighters zooming all around him playing tag with the Wyverns. Downstairs, Marie typed in corordinates for **Napalm Strike, Rolling Thunder, Rocket Artillery, **and **Artillery.  
><strong>BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! went the **Artillery.**  
>KER-WHAM! KER-WHAM! KER-WHAM! went the <strong>Rocket Aritllery.<br>**KA-ROOM! went the **Napalm Strike.  
><strong>!went the **Rolling Thunder.**

Holes were blasted through the concrete, scoorch marks were all over the place, the carpet bombing leveled several houses...  
>Ten minutes left.<br>The **M.O.A.B. **utterly annihilated a massive horde of zombies charging down the road...  
>Five minutes left.<br>The **Nuclear Bunker Buster **blew away all remaining zombies in a heap of blood...  
>Times up.<br>A massive white light engulfed the whole town, sending the three teens to their final destination.

**READ AND REVIEW!**


	11. The Finale

Ed's eyes adjusted to the blinding light. As his pupils came to focus, he saw that he was somehow in _his room._ His upper body shot up, sweat covering him.  
>Eyes darting around the room, he saw that everything was normal. No Nazi Zombies, no Dog Soldiers, no Cloverfield 2, nothing was what happened before.<br>Ed slowly got out of his bed, expecting rotten hands to come from under his bed and drag him to his doom. Slowly, he reached for his gun, but then realized he had no gun. Looking in his old bathroom mirror, he saw that he had his regular clothes on: a green jacket, red-and-white striped undershirt, sneakers, and blue jeans.  
>'It was all a dream', he thought with a grin, 'an amazing adventure of a dream.'<br>And for what seemed like the first time ever, he sprang up the stairs with a spring in his step, and practically ran out the door to hug his friends.  
>He dreamed of what scams Eddy would have them do, what bibblebabble Double D would say, and how he would screw it up with the tripping of his feet.<br>It was only when he exited the house did his plans take a major U-turn.

Peach Creek was gone.  
>The houses were crumbling, burned-out car crashes were scattered here and there, corpses littered the streets. Ed instantly frowned, his thoughts going back to the evil dream he had.<br>"Raugh...", went a voice, the primal growl in it's voice almost speaking as if alive. Ed slowly turned around, and was face-to-face with a gray, rotten, hideous, maggot-ridden, soul-less thing.  
>The dirty old uniform it wore was putrid and shit-brown, with the Nazi swastika on the shoulders of the thing. Before Ed could react, the thing lashed out an arm, slashing Ed right across the chest. Blood squirted out from the shreds, and Ed brought his gun to bear.<br>Wait...gun?  
>Somehow, Ed had his dream clothes on. The Demolitions Officer uniform, complete with weaponry, items, explosives, everything!<br>Ed just went along with it and blew the thing's head off in a splash of blood and gore. Gray brain matter splattered on Ed's gas mask, blood squirted on his trench coat, and the demonic thing collapsed at his boots. The Nazi swastika gleaming off it's shoulders in the faint sunlight that shot through the scattered holes in the dark, black sky that turned ugly because of the smoke.  
>Ed shook his head, not coming of terms with what he just witnessed and did. The Nazi zombies were real! It wasn't a dream!<br>"AHHH!", Ed screamed, running down Peach Creek Main Street, passing more scenes of death and destruction. The Candy Store, to Ed's ultimate horror, was still burning, any candy in it gone in the hot burning fire that engulfed the building. The school was gone, just gone. Smoking rubble was all that remained, debris and bodies scattered like confetti around the site.  
>Continuing on, Ed saw that the old Clubhouse was destroyed again (They rebuilt it after Big Picture Show), blackened and burned wood spread out over a 50-yard area around the tree the Clubhouse was situated in. Running past even more horrible images, Ed suddenly stopped, eyes round as saucers...<br>The body of Johnny 2x4 lay in front of him, skin melted in a puddle of brown, red, and rotten goo, skull gleaming white, the singed remains of Plank in his hands.

Ed had no time to mourn, as he heard growling coming from the alley near him. Running away from Johnny and Plank's corpses, Ed jumped over cars and debris in his way, even barreling _through _a semi-trailer.  
>Running, running, running...<em>SCREECH!<br>_Ed suddenly screeched to a halt, and backed up, unaware or not caring about the zombies slowly closing in on him. He was looking at a Chevy car dealership, and right smack in the middle of destroyed vehicles, shining bright in random sunlight and utterly unscathed, was a pure black 2011 Camaro.  
>Ed went wide-eyed and began to tear up, he rushed the car and jumped in, seeing that the keys were still in it. Smiling devilishly at the zombie horde in front of him, Ed cranked the car up, shivering to the purr of the engine, and floored the peddle.<br>The car jerked forward and stopped, out of gas...  
>"DAMMIT!", yelled Ed, jumping out of the car. The zombie horde was still crawling ever so slowly towards Ed. Ed found some gas cans, filled the car up, checked and changed the oil, replaced the rims, pumped up the tires, and cranked it up, shivering at the purr of the engine, smiling devilishly at the zombie horde ten-feet from him.<br>VROOM!  
>Ed crushed and crashed through the horde, blood splattering the car, which washed off when he drove through a bridge submerged in five feet of water.<p>

200 miles and 23 hordes later...  
>Ed's new Camaro, now black and red, pulled up a gas station in the middle of Knotts Exxon in Lilesville, North Carolina.<br>Ed entered the gas station, stepping over the piles of zombies, paid for gas and snacks (because the Knotts were still alive), and drove off. Entering the actual town, a heap of old buildings and a park with overgrown everything and a rusting playground, Ed stopped at Whitt's, another gas station, to air his tires.  
>Since there was nobody in the store, he took as many things as he could and stuffed it all in the car.<br>_Moan...  
><em>Ed's head jerked up, searching for the source of the noise.  
><em>Thump...thump...thump...<br>_The bathroom...  
><em>Thump...thump...thump...<br>_Ed raised his gun and quickly but quitly sprinted inside the store again, heading for the bathroom.  
><em>Thump...thump...thump...<br>_Ed's breath quickened, his finger on the trigger, sweat on his head...  
><em>Thump...thump...thump...<br>_Ed slowly reached for the knob to the bathroom, turned it and slowly opened the door. What he saw made him slackjawed and most likely scarred him for life...  
><em>Thump...thump...thump...<em>"Oh, God...Double D...harder"_...thump...thump...thump...  
><em>Eddward "Double D" and Marie Kanker going at it Missionary Style in an abandoned public bathroom during the Apacolypse.  
>Ed turned beet red and back away slowly.<p>

Thirty minutes later...  
>"Okay...we <em>never <em>talk of that again.", Double D said from the passenger seat. Marie and Ed both nodded, all three of them red as Rolf's candied beets.  
><strong>POW!<br>**Ed slammed into something, a massive shape in the road. The Camaro spun and flipped, recieving little damage but throwing the teens out. Ed slammed into the dirt, rolling around until coming to a stop at a broken telephone pole that Double D hit headfirst soon afterward, followed by Marie who had a soft landing on the two Eds.  
>"Owww..."<br>"Aughh...my head..."  
>"I think I hit a pipe..."<br>The three slowly got up, shaking their heads until their vision was clear. Looking up near the Camaro, the three noticed several large figures around it, hungrily looking at them.  
>Feast beasts.<br>"RUN AWAY!", Ed yelled, picking up the other two in his arms and running from the beasts, who were quickly catching up to them. Running into an open wasteland that used to be a small farming community, Ed noticed the Feast beasts were long behind. But he didn't care...  
>He just kept running. Double D and Marie eventually got off of his arms, only to have to run after him when the Feast beasts caught back up. Unfortunatley, the two were no match for the beast's speed, and they were soon caught.<br>Ed, however, kept running. He ran until his feet bled, and then ran some more. His shoes ran rugged, and his legs collapsed. The beasts had long since givin' up the chase, and Ed went to sleep on the dry ground.

* * *

><p>The siren awoke Ed, and as he got up he couldn't help but notice a pang in his back.<br>Walking along the gray hallways of the Survivor Fortress, Ed fell in line for breakfast. The food here was always good, so nobody went hungry. Walking over to a table with his new friends, Ed stared into his plate.  
>His cereal had taken the shape of Eddy and Double D, his dead friends.<br>Ed softly began to drip tears down his cheeks, but only one per eye. Being in the Fortress, he began to train as a Soldier/Guard. For five hours each day for the next year, Ed will take pot shots at Nazi Zombies over the walls, learn the types of weapons able to kill an undead menace, learn what to do to survive Feast beasts, _Super 8_s, and Dog Soldiers, and how to rescue a civilian.  
>But Ed still missed the days when he was an idiot. Sure his family hated him to the depths of Hell, school was boring, and he was bullied, but it was worth it to see Eddy and Double D every day.<p>

After training, Ed could do anything. The Survivor Fortress was a zombie survivalist's dream. Electricity, entertainment, good food, friends, ect. But Ed had already beaten Modern Warfare 3 twice, completed his Sniper Training, ate Lunch, hung out with his friends, and hadn't taken his shower for two days in a row, making him the cleanest he'd ever been.  
>Ed layed down in his bunk and drifted off to sleep, this time dreaming of when they'd gone to Eddy's brother's. Ed missed his friends, and it was all my fault.<br>But Ed dreamed of the task I had layed out for everyone who survived the initial assault. Defeat 1,000 of my Nazi Zombies, and I will allow you one wish. Ed knew what to wish for...  
>His friends back...and I will grant it for him...<p> 


End file.
